I’d always heard rumors of people making their own almond milk but I assumed it was a super difficult process. I was pleasantly surprised when I finally built up the courage to make it. It’s really easy, and oddly fun.
To make Raw Almond Milk:
What you’ll need:
1 cup raw almonds
2-3 cups of water
vanilla extract (optional)
What you’ll need to do:
Combine almonds and water. Let sit overnight. Blend together and pour into a jar lined with cheesecloth/muslin/pantyhose. Let this separate the milk from the leftover almond chunks. Make sure to give the cloth a good squeeze when you’re done to get as much out as you can. Refrigerate and enjoy!
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
“Wrong Century” — Brilliant illustration by artist Tomas Kucerovsky depicting the fate of plus-size beauty in the modern age.
|—||Jonathan Safran Foer (via beautyisanillusion)|
sext: you slide off your panties, you slide off the bed, you slide off the floor, you slide off this plane of reality into nothingness
|—||Maurice Sendak (via hannahletourneau)|
The earth is spinning on its axis, and around the sun, and around the center of the galaxy, but Alex Ignatiev calculated that at two particular places on the earth, twice a year, and for a fraction of a second, all these accelerations cancel out.
I propose an expedition to these locations to find out what it feels like to stand completely still.